‘A mistress of a family cannot always be adorned with smiles. It will sometimes be incumbent on you to find faults, and human nature may sometimes fail of doing this with proper temper and dignity; therefore let it never be done in the presence of your husband. Do not disturb him with the detail of your grievances from servants or tradespeople, nor with your methods of family management. But above all, let nothing of this kind embitter / his meals when you happen to be tête–à- tête at table.’
Hester Chapone, A Letter to a New-Married Lady (1777), London: John Sharpe, 1822, pp.112-3.